The KevEdd Problem
by Aklaino2k7
Summary: For the past two and a half years, KevEdd has been taking the Ed, Edd n Eddy fandom by storm, so that it's drowning out just about every other fic out there. Now, the mysterious Author has to help the worst KevEdd writer tackle the numerous cliches, disturbing trends and bad habits in the genre. Current Chapter: Nat the Marty Stu
1. The Fangirl

The Kevedd Problem

Chapter 1

###

Somewhere in the United States, in some random apartment, a girl is typing away at a keyboard, working on her 3,345th yaoi fic. She paused, trying to think of what to do about a particular plot element.

"Let's see…" she mumbled. "How can I get Kevin and Double D to have hot sex this time?"

 _Kevin stripped down as he gave Edd a sensual massage…_

"Yeah, right, I've already done that specific plotline before."

The front door to the apartment opened and greetings were exchanged.

 _Kevin looked down at Edd, whom he had just saved from the tyranny of Ed and Eddy._

"Nah, he'd already saved him from his evil friends seventy times this week," the girl remarked, obviously bored.

Steps could be heard coming down the hall.

 _Edd had just rescued Kevin from his evil, bimbo girlfriend Nazz when…_

"NO, Kevin has to do the rescuing. Double D can't be a seme, unless he's Rev!Double D. Maybe I should turn this into that kind of fic. I can't have it be mindless porn, even though 2,323 of my fics are already that way."

The doorknob turned.

 _Kevin and Edd got ready to have HOT STEAMY SEX! Why? Because I'm the author! Mwahaha!_

All this out of the way, the girl began to type up a scene of glorious IKEA erotica.

And the door slammed open, coming off its hinges and revealing…

A gorgeous, blond heartthrob of a man, in a white shirt that showed off his chiseled torso and black pants whose teeth glistened as he smiled.

And then he stopped smiling when he realized that the girl in his room was a teenager.

"Seriously, that's your description?" the girl asked. "It isn't even accurate. You're not that much of hearthrob with that terrible posture, those outdated, scratched up glasses or that five o'clock shadow. And that's not to mention how you're so short at 5'8" and have the beginning of a belly."

"Hey! I just wanted to throw in a self-indulgent description of my author avatar!" the man exclaimed. "Besides, who let you in?"

"Oh, your roommate," the girl said. "I simply said I was your girlfriend."

"Oh crap, he's probably calling the cops on us right as we speak. I'm leaving the door open so he doesn't think anything of us being in here. You do realize I'm a bit older than you, right?"

"What?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm definitely out of my teens. So, what are you doing here, anyway?" he asked, looking at the girl in annoyance at her getting in the way of a decent afternoon.

"Aklaino89, or whatever screenname you have this week, I represent-"

"Don't tell me. A group with a really offensive abbreviation?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?" she asked.

"Oh, I've heard about you in another, better fic. She wanted the author to join the mass of yaoi authors for stories based on a slapstick comedy. Somehow, I get the feeling you want the same thing she does."

"Yeah, you are going to join us," the girl responded.

"Yeah? But KevEdd doesn't remotely interest me," the man informed her. "That's not even mentioning how overdone it is."

"Overdone? Come on, how could they possibly be overdone?" the fangirl asked angrily.

"Well… let's see what's on the first page of the Ed, Edd n Eddy fanfiction section," the author said, pulling out his cellphone, opening the internet browser and going to the page he mentioned. "Let's see, 15 out of 20 are KevEdd stories. That's three-quarters of the first page alone."

"Yeah, well maybe it's so popular because it's so good," the girl suggested.

"Yeah, right. Looking at one of them, a shorter one, there are numerous grammatical and spelling errors. The person is writing in the present tense, _if_ they remember to even conjugate verbs at all and it suddenly shows Kevin and Edd having feelings for each other along with a number of cliches that have plagued the fandom for years. It's also the same old Edd returning to the cul-de-sac after a few years plotline that we've already seen before."

"Wow, that is pretty bad," the girl agreed.

"Should I mention that none of the reviews are there to help the person get better at writing?" the author asked. "In fact, they're all along the lines of 'Aw, so cute! The feels! Bless you for shipping them like everyone else!'" The latter part was done in a surprisingly convincing falsetto. "I mean, you can enjoy KevEdd. It's a free country, but a good part of being on this site is becoming better as a writer. That's what I've at least tried to do over the years. If you compare, say, 'Digimon Scammer: Empire' with 'Those Left Behind' or, especially, 'Digimon Futures', you'll see how much I've improved and that wouldn't have happened without constructive criticism along with a decent beta reader who whipped me into shape instead of blindly praising my work."

"Hmm… That's something to think about. So, I can't write KevEdd because it's overdone, huh?"

"I'm not saying you can't, but it's something to keep in consideration," the author told her. "Heck, I'm sure it's used for some excellent plotlines. Just because 90% is terrible doesn't mean there isn't 10% that's good. As it is, there's one thing I have to say to you."

The girl expected a heavy-handed lecture about terrible yaoi.

"Sit down and let's go over what you've written."

She opened her eyes wide. "Wait, what?"

"Come on! I want to see what you've written and help you get better," the author told her with a smile. "As it is, nothing I can do will make yaoi, much less KevEdd, go away, so I figured I'd show you how to get better at it."

The girl complied, sitting down at the computer in front of her. _What am I getting into this time…_ she mused, getting ready to type at the keyboard.

###

A/N: So, thoughts? I thought I wasn't getting the point across, so I decided to blatantly rip-off the Kingdom Hearts fanfic classic "The Yaoi Problem". And don't take too much offense: I have nothing against yaoi or KevEdd, other than that the site has far more cliched stories of bad romance and terrible sex than good stories with original plots that actually do the show justice. In fact, it wouldn't be so bad if there wasn't so much of it. Let me know what you think in a review.


	2. When Life gives you Lemons

Chapter 2: When Life give you Lemons

###

"So, why do you feel you can criticize KevEdd, huh?" the girl asked as she navigated the computer. "You try to stay away from yaoi!"

"Oh, yeah, as far as I can," the author replied. "I do have some prefered couples, but not them. Still, you can generally apply a lot of the same principles that you can glean from other kinds of romance to slash. Of course, a lot of things vary from couple to couple, depending on characterization, canon interaction and whatnot."

"Well, here it is!" the girl exclaimed. The author glanced at the fic and his eyes widened.

"Okay… That was…"

"Deliciously hot!" the girl exclaimed.

"... absolutely disgusting! You didn't tell me I'd have to read that!" the author complained, turning a sickly shade of green.

"Hey, it's a yaoi. You were expecting something else?" the girl asked. "Stop being so homophobic!"

"For crying out loud, even though I'd rather not read about two guys doing it, there's more than that at work. You wrote a hardcore sex scene about a pair of twelve-year-olds."

She was taken aback when he said that, but she had a way out. "I aged them up," the girl informed him.

"But when you visualize it, what do you see? Do you see the kids as older versions of themselves or as how they are in canon?"

The girl thought about it for a second. "Okay, you've got a point."

"Yeah, rule number one, especially for amateur writers: no sex. If you feel they have to do the deed, just have a fade to black or focus on a candle or something. Otherwise, it generally just feels shoehorned in for titillation purposes."

"Come on! How can you describe the emotions and show that they are in love without sex?" the girl asked.

"Well, in real life, whenever you meet a couple in love, do you ever see them have sex?" the author asked.

"No, yuck! Absolutely not!"

"Then how do you know they're in love?" the author asked, smiling.

"Well, they hold hands, they kiss," the girl said. "They say 'I love you.' Plus, they spend a lot of time together."

"The last part is especially important, especially since your second and third points don't happen in public nearly as often as points one and four," the author stated.

"Should I also mention that they do things that show they care for each other?"

"That's also another good point, though friends do that too," the author indicated.

"Fine, I'll get rid of all my sex fics, all 2,323 of them," the girl said.

"How on earth do you have that many fics when there are only 4000 in the Ed, Edd n Eddy section? Never mind, I don't want to know."

"So, anything else?"

"Well, for starters, your scene didn't show any preparation, for… that sort of thing. Double D's a clean freak, so you'd expect them both to have to clean up before… that, especially since it involves… that part of the body, which is probably the dirtiest body part. Plus, I can't really see Double D doing that sort of thing since it involves that specific body part. And that's not getting to how you didn't mention any sort of lubricant, so it's probably going to hurt." The author cringed at the thought.

"Oh come on, all gay people do that sort of thing," the girl remarked.

"Not according to Wikipedia, they don't, as much as I regret actually looking that up. Some don't like it. In fact, according to some survey, _that_ is in third place as far as sexual activity is concerned for them."

"Then how am I supposed to show the seme/uke dynamic?" the girl asked.

"Eh, let's get to that later. Another reason to avoid that sort of thing is that, oftentimes, a sex scene will be really out of place. It's also really easy for someone to get the biology of the situation wrong, especially when it involves body parts that you don't have. Plus, you're underage so you should probably avoid writing lemons, anyway. So, moving on, uh, did you have something else you wanted to show me?"

"Yeah, sure, here it is!"

 _Kevin wandered the school grounds, looking for Edd, eventually finding him reading a book in the library._

 _Kevin grabbed Edd and locked his lips onto his, their tongues intertwining. A makeout session ensued._

The author's mouth hung open.

"Wait, you're actually starting with that, just them making out in public?"

"What? There's nothing wrong with that!" the girl exclaimed.

"Um, yeah… Even most straight people don't make out in public out of regard for other people around them, and to me it sounds like ridiculously bad fanservice. That reminds me of something I remember seeing in college."

"Wait, what?" the girl asked, slightly confused.

"Uh, let's just say that in my first semester of college, I had an early morning class: Geography, actually." The author gritted his teeth, trying to organize his thoughts as he was about to say something utterly ridiculous. "Anyway, twice, I saw two random girls just making out."

The fangirl gave him a look. "Come again."

"Yeah, it was just so random and out of left field that I couldn't believe my eyes. I just walk to class and there are these two cute girls making out. Then one time I was down there and the same two girls walked up to each other, hugged and then started making out again. My question was: why?"

"Maybe they were in love?"

"Couldn't they have found a room out of regard for other people?"

"Probably. Were they protesting something?" the girl asked.

The author shrugged. "Not that I know of. In fact, I had never seen anybody else make out like that on campus. Heck, if I were to see that in the background of a movie, I'd consider it blatant, pointless fanservice put there to titillate the audience or something they'd put on a failing TV show during sweeps week. I jokingly call those pretty ladies Random Make-out Lesbians. In fact, I'd say that from the perspective of anyone in the library at the time of Kevin finding Double D and smooching him in this fic, it would seem equally pointless and out of left field. Not to mention, it would be pretty embarrassing and awkward for them. Should I also mention that most schools have rules against making-out on campus, regardless of sexual orientation."

"But they're in love!" the girl exclaimed.

"Random passersby wouldn't know that. Not to mention, they'd get put off by a couple of random people making out in public. Plus, what age group do you usually see make out in public?"

"Um… Teenagers?" the girl responded.

"Exactly. Do teenage relationships generally last very long after high school?"

The girl really thought about it. "No, not really."

"Right, plus that's not even mentioning how you didn't even have a reason for them to be in a relationship in the first place," he told her, his eyes narrowed. "Since when were they in a romance? You can't take _that_ seriously."

"Of course they are. They're already in love!" the girl informed him. "People may deny it, but there's _so_ much evidence and we know the truth!"

The author didn't buy it one bit. "Okay, enlighten me. When did they show any sort of love for each other in the show?"

"Well, um…" the girl started to say, pausing to get her thoughts together. "Kevin treats Double D the best out of all the Eds on a lot of occasions."

"How many times does he treat Double D well?" the author asked.

"Well, I don't know. I couldn't count them all there were so many."

The author smiled, realizing he had her in a corner. "Three."

"Wait, what?" the girl asked, genuinely surprised.

"He treated Double D nicely on three occasions, three scenes in the entire show. And none of those occasions can be seen in any way as romantic."

"Wait, that's it?" the girl asked, seriously confused. "Come on! There have to be more than that."

"There isn't. Plus, there's absolutely nothing that says that Kevin is even remotely attracted to the same sex, and even if there could be some _slight_ indications of Edd going both ways, it's all directed to the other Eds and not toward Kevin. Of course, it's mostly there as a joke, anyway, not to be taken too seriously."

"Yeah, right, there has to be more than that!"

"You watched the show, right?" the author asked, sitting on his bed right behind the fangirl's chair.

"Actually, no. I haven't even seen a single episode," the girl said, nonchalantly.

"Wait, what?" the writer asked, his eye twitching at the suggestion.  
"Yeah, I don't even like the show. I just write fanfiction because Double D and Kevin are so cute together. There's this comic on Deviantart and Tumblr I read that…"

"I think I know what you're talking about," the author informed her. "I just thought that maybe… I don't know, you'd actually gone down to the source material before actually writing fiction about it."

"Do I really have to?" she asked with a pleading look.

"Uh, yeah, if you want to keep everyone in character!" the author exclaimed. "It's kind of hard to do if you haven't seen them in their normal everyday life."

"Hey, I read fanfic. That's good enough for me."

The author buried his head in his hands in dismay before he started laughing. "Here's the thing about basing your characterization on other fanfics: every writer has their own interpretation of canon characters. Heck, even me. I like to portray Kevin as kind of a good guy to his friends instead of a one-dimensional jerk jock like he is in some episodes, even if he doesn't get along with the Eds. To get the best grasp on the characters' personalities, though, you'll need to watch the actual show in all it's slapstick glory. Once you get to that point, there will still be things you'll need to expand on, such as the personalities of Nazz or the Kankers to make them more rounded characters, but at least you'll have a more solid foundation than someone else's interpretation of the characters."

"So, what?" the girl asked. "I'm sure that the interpretation found in the KevEdd comic on Deviantart is just fine."

"The thing is, in even in the best of fanfics with characterizations closest to the canon, there will be some discrepancies. As time goes on and people base fanfics off fanfics, it starts to turn into a game of telephone with details being lost and others being added, creating the otherworldly entity known as fanon.

"Fanon can be useful at times, but it's not to be taken at face value. In fact, you could say that canon is the foundation and structure of any good fanfic while fanon is the siding and decoration, to be accepted or rejected by the writer. And as far as the usefulness of fanon, it can be used to fill in holes in the source material while bad fanon replaces the source material."

"Hmm… Interesting," the girl remarked.

"So," the author started to say as he went over to his bookshelf and pulled off some dvds, "Ready to watch the series?"

"If you insist," she groaned, not looking forward to watching over 100 episodes of an old cartoon.

###

A/N: Yes, it's true, there are some who write Ed, Edd n Eddy fanfiction without having watched the show. Don't worry, fangirls who actually did, that part of the rant isn't directed at you.

I do have to admit, I actually looked at the artwork of the girl who wrote that comic (c2ndy2c1d) and she's pretty talented. I even like some of it, particularly the Assassin's AU stuff and the drawing she made of the Eds in high school (although I'd prefer it if she gave Eddy a bit more weight, but that's just me). It's just that, somehow, people read her work without actually watching the show. It kinda ticks me off.

Oh, and the Random Makeout Lesbians thing was real. I saw it with my own eyes. No, I didn't say anything to anyone about it other than my parents. It was so ridiculous it seemed like a joke. I wouldn't be surprised if they were trying to make a statement but failed miserably.


	3. Edd the Wimp

Chapter 3: Edd the Wimp

###

It took her several days straight to binge watch the entire show at her own house, but when she was done, she realized how much she enjoyed it. Of course, there was the odd episode out that she didn't like, such as the one where Kevin blackmailed Eddy, or the one where Eddy just couldn't get his picture right with Kevin having to ruin it for him. Plus, some of the episodes' endings annoyed her with the Eds getting punished for the crimes of one of them (the Halloween special being a big offender in that regard as well as "It Smells like an Ed").

Still, overall, she liked it, and even though the ending of the Big Picture Show seemed a bit contrived, at least she was satisfied.

So, she made her way back to the author's apartment only to find that he wasn't home.

"Okay, where are you?" she asked, standing outside the second story apartment's front door. She pulled out her phone and noticed that it was only two in the afternoon. That was when she realized that he probably had to work.

 _Wait, what does this guy do again? Maybe I could go to his work._

But she had no idea. Plus, his Facebook was set to private so she couldn't get that info from there. Rolling her eyes, she went over to the nearest bookstore, goofed off for a few hours, and came back. It was 5:30 and he still wasn't there.

"Come on! Where are you?"

"Looking for my roommate?" she heard a man ask. He was taller than the author and had black hair along with a heavy frame. He also looked more than a little nervous seeing her there.

"Yeah, where the heck is he?"

"Uh, he likes to go to the gym after work," the roommate replied.

"What? But he's supposed to be here!" the girl exclaimed, angry.

"Well, he's not," the black-haired man said, squeezing past her and opening the door to the apartment.

"Okay, what gym does he go to?" the girl asked.

"Uh, a 24 Hour fitness. Don't ask me which one," the man replied.

So, she went to the nearest gym. The author's car wasn't there, causing the girl to grumble even more. She then went back to the apartment. When she looked at her phone then, it was 7:00. So, she decided to tap on the door and hope that he was home. However, just when she was about to knock, the author showed up, walking down the hall with a smile.

"Oh, you're back," he said. "And here I was hoping not to read anymore of your fanfics."

"Ha ha, very funny," the girl remarked, rolling her eyes. "So, you ready to see my next fic?"

The man shrugged as he opened the door. "Sure."

So, he led her in, taking her to his room and leaving the door opened while his roommate played videogames in the other room.

"Alright, here it is," the girl said, opening up her laptop. "Just a day in the life of Kevin and Edd." The author looked at the screen and read it over.

 _Edd was alone at home all day and missed his lover. He couldn't stand not having Kevin around. He missed his smile and had absolutely nothing to do, so he began to sob uncontrollably, wanting the sexy redhead to come back home from work._

 _After seven hours of sulking, Kevin finally came home._

 _"Oh, Kevin! It was miserable without you here!" the sock-headed man told his lover._

 _"Don't worry, Double D. We'll be together forever," Kevin reassured him. "We have our cruise next week, remember?"_

 _"Oh, I so look forward to it, my lover." So, they started making out._

"Okay, that was enough," the author told the fangirl.

"Hey, we're about to get to the best part!" she told him, smiling.

"Right… Okay, first and foremost, since you've actually watched the show this time, did you see any indication that Double D was a girly housewife who couldn't stand being without his lover?"

The girl shrugged. "Yeah, but now they're in a relationship. It's how he shows he's in love!"

"So, I guess if you didn't have to work after you got married, you do the same thing, huh?" the author asked. "Just sit around all day and cry because your husband's not around?"

"No, of course not!"

The author smiled. "So, why would Double D? Another thing to realize is that he's a pretty smart guy who's most likely going to end up in college after the events of the series. Now, personally, I can't see him not using his degree in whatever field he gets into, whether it's computer science or engineering or even biology if he wanted. In fact, if he were to end up in a relationship, he'd probably be the breadwinner."

"But I can't have Kevin sitting at home all day," the girl complained. "He's the seme!"

"Why do you have to have either of them at home all day?" the author asked. "They can both work, especially if they have jobs they like."

"Oh, okay," the girl relented.

"And another thing: if Edd's so lonely in this little scenario, then where are his friends?"

"What friends?" the girl asked.

"Ed and Eddy. Plus Rolf and Johnny. You can't tell me he can't go hang out with them, especially if they're straight and there wouldn't end up being anything in between them in this scenario."

"Um… They all died," the girl just made up on the spot.

The author chuckled. "Wow, that's a cheap copout. Another thing: in the show, could Double D function without his friends?"

"Um, yeah," the girl replied.

"If you think about it, he was a pretty independent guy. Plus, he was very opinionated and didn't waiver on certain points, even when it involved taking Ed and Eddy's report cards to their parents despite the fact that it could have easily screwed up his friendship with those two. Plus, there was that one point in the movie where he was more than willing to leave Ed and Eddy behind to face the consequences of their last failed scam due to their idiotic quicksand joke."

"But how could I possibly get him to fulfill the role of uke if he's like that?" the girl asked.

"Do you really need to?" the author inquired.

"Well, it's a major part of yaoi, isn't it?" the fangirl told him.

"Maybe, but would it really be realistic? Plus, Ed, Edd n Eddy isn't a yaoi anyway, so you'd just be shoehorning them into roles they don't really fit into."

"Wait, how would that role not be realistic?" the girl asked.

"I dare you to ask a gay guy if he's a top or a bottom. Just watch," the author told her. "More than likely, you'd get them to say it's none of your business. If you do get an answer, though, it may surprise you. Plus, some like both or neither."

"Wait, some like both?" the girl asked with surprise.

"I can't believe I'm talking about this. Moving on, there's also the unfortunate implications that a gay guy has to be some girly, lovesick princess who can't live without their man."

"Wait, why do you say top or bottom?" the girl asked, a bit confused.

"The terms seme and uke aren't used outside of boys love or yaoi," the author told her. "So, I guess that's something you should keep out of dialogue if you want it to be realistic between the two of them."

"What?" the girl asked in surprise.

"Yeah, that's right. The english language already has those terms already covered," the author said with a smile.

"You know too much about this kind of stuff," the girl told him.

"Yeah, I agree. My mind collects random, stupid facts, particularly from places like Wikipedia and TVTropes. It's a bit of a curse sometimes." The guy smiled. "So, want to see how I'd write that scene from before. Since I'd prefer not to write slash, I'll just write them as roommates."

"Go ahead."

 _Edd's normal daily routine was pretty simple, since he worked as a freelance Web Developer, coding websites for various clients. Plus, there was the cruise he had planned with Kevin and all their friends, so he was getting that worked out as well. All in all, it was a pretty productive day and he got a lot done._

 _At about 5:30, he heard the front door open up and decided to go out and greet Kevin._

 _"Salutations, Kevin! How was work today?" the sock-wearing man asked._

 _"Not bad, man," the redhead replied. "I think we're making progress on the house we're building."_

 _"That is wonderful news!" Edd said._

 _"So, how's your freelancing coming along, man?" Kevin asked, getting into the fridge._

 _"Quite well, although one of my clients is being a bit cumbersome," the black-haired man remarked. "He seems to be getting a little more picky over time."_

 _"Man, that's a bummer," Kevin commented, gritting his teeth. "Don't you hate it when that happens?"_

 _"I sure do. It isn't exactly a… pleasant experience," Edd replied. "By the way, I got our reservations for the cruise that's coming up and I also reserved rooms for all of our friends, too."_

 _"Awesome, man," Kevin said with a smile. "Oh, and Eddy called to see if we could come over and hang out tonight."_

 _"That would be quite fun," the sock-wearing man told him. "At what time did he want us to come over?"_

 _"Oh, at around seven," the redhead replied._

The girl stared at the screen. "Wait, where's the romance?"

"I just wrote them as roommates," the author told her. "I figured if you wanted a little romance, you could write them holding hands or sharing a bedroom or something. Besides, it's not like they wouldn't be acting like this if they were actually together."

"But, he's not greeting him with a kiss or anything!" the girl complained.

"Like I said, I wrote them as roommates. If you were to write it, sure, go ahead, give them a kiss shortly after walking in the door. And then you could keep the scene as is, maybe just implying that they share a bedroom or something. Real couples in stable relationships aren't lovey dovey all the time, after all."

"Yeah, you're probably right," the girl said. "Still, a part of me wants to see Double D in a maid outfit or something."

The author made a face before deciding to change the subject. "Okay… So, you have something else you wanted to show me?"

"Sure! Let's read a fic where somebody gets in the way of Kevin and Double D's love!" the girl exclaims.

"And who might that be?" the blond man asked, having three guesses going through head.

"Oh, no one, just Double D's jerk of a friend, Eddy!"

"Oh…" the author mumbled, not looking forward to watching the girl screw over one of his favorite characters from the show.

###

A/N: Yeah, looking at actual couples and comparing them with what you see in fanfic… They're really nothing alike. Plus, none of the gay guys I've actually met in real life seemed to fit the whole seme/uke dynamic that characters get forced to in fanfic.

I'm willing to take suggestions on what else to cover, if anyone feels like giving me any.


	4. Eddy off the Rails

Chapter 4: Eddy off the Rails

###

 _Edd and Kevin were busy having lunch together when all of the sudden, Eddy showed up._

 _"Get away from him, shovelchin!" Eddy exclaimed._

 _"Oh, no, Eddy, I wouldn't," Edd said. "I'm in love!"_

 _"Yeah, we both are," Kevin said, holding Edd's hand. "You're going to have to accept us, dork."_

 _"Yeah, well…" Eddy pulled out a knife. "No, I don't!" He then proceeded to go after Kevin with the knife while Kevin countered with a baseball bat, smashing the short, fat boy in the head._

 _"Ow! That hurt!" Eddy exclaimed in agony. "Okay, you…"_

The next word was a gay slur. "What language!" the Author complained.

"Shut up and keep reading," the fangirl ordered, glaring at him.

 _"Yeah? There's nothing wrong with that," Kevin told him. "You love who you love."_

 _"You unnatural perverts! You're going to burn in hell!"_

"Like there are so many places where Eddy shows any remote hint of being religious," the Author remarked.

 _"No, you deserve to because of getting in the way of our love!" Edd said and Kevin hit Eddy in the head again, killing him._

 _"So, wanna make-out some more?" Kevin asked._

 _"Certainly," Edd replied._

"Okay, why did you make Eddy into a crazed killer?" the Author asked, slightly irritated by this characterization.

"Hey, they need something to get in the way of their love," the girl explained.

"And derailing Eddy into a homophobic jerk will do that, huh?" the Author asked. "Trust me, in canon he and Double D are best friends while Double D is among Kevin's enemies except for during the last couple minutes of the show. If anything, I'd say the chances of Double D getting together with Eddy are far higher than him getting together with Kevin. And I don't even like slash!"

"Ew! Eddy's, like, so fat!"

"Oh, playing the fat card, are we?" the author stated, his eyes narrowing. "You know that skinny people are just as likely to be jerks as fat people, right? Still, it's not as if you couldn't have other issues coming up that could get in the way of their relationship. Edd could have an aversion to most forms of sex, for instance, delaying that. Plus, there's the disbelief that all of Kevin's friends are bound to have at the sight of him getting together with another guy when there was absolutely no evidence that he was into the same sex on the television show. Heck, there are numerous difficulties real-life relationships have, including personality clashes since nobody's exactly the same."

"Still, can't I have a villain?" the girl asked. "I seriously don't like Eddy."

"You can, or you can have an antagonist," the author said with a grin. "Some of the best villains out there aren't pure evil like you portray Eddy here. I can definitely see him objecting to Double D getting together with Kevin, especially since he and Kevin were enemies for so long. Plus, there's the whole thing with Kevin not showing prior indication of not being straight. Of course, you could almost say that that's a result of teenage hormonal weirdness, too. Plus, Eddy could also be afraid of Kevin turning abusive or of other people being homophobic towards Double D, resulting in him getting hurt. You don't need to turn Eddy into a knife-wielding homophobe himself, especially since having friends come out of the closet tends to alter people's perception of homo- and bisexuals themselves."

"Okay, you've got a bit of a point there," the girl remarked.

"Good. Another thing to consider is the development of their friendship over the course of the show. At the end of the movie, Eddy actually showed his loyalty to Double D by admitting that he was wrong after the quicksand joke, showing some major character development in the process. Heck, I'd even say that even if they hadn't run into Eddy's brother, Eddy probably would have stopped scamming since he realized what their last scam had done to their friendship."

"Still, I just don't like him," the girl commented. "He just has a horrible attitude!"

"And Kevin doesn't?" the author asked.

"Okay, I'll admit, he doesn't have that great of an attitude either," the girl said.

"Yeah, in fact, I'd say they're very similar characters," the author remarked.

"Yeah, why'd you say that?" the girl asked, tapping her foot on the ground with a grin.

"Oh, they both have pretty big egos, they tend to be pretty loud, they're the leaders of their specific faction on the show and they both like girls, particularly Nazz. The main differences are their social standing: Kevin's popular while Eddy isn't. Of course, Kevin's a jock who's slightly taller, but it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to say that they'd be pretty much the same if their social standings were switched, except that I can't really see Kevin scamming."

"But Kevin's hot and Eddy's not," the girl said.

"Yeah, of course that's pretty subjective in itself. Still, it's a bad idea to just excuse someone for their crimes because of their looks and not forgive the other one for actions that aren't quite as bad. I mean, I don't really remember seeing Eddy beat anybody up, unlike Kevin. Plus, there was that horrible episode with the blackmail."

"Yikes, I didn't like that episode either," the fangirl agreed.

The author gave her a smile. "So, get my point?"

"Yeah, don't derail Eddy into a homophobic nutcase just to get a villain."

The author smiled even wider. "Exactly. Anything else you want to show me?"

"Oh, I have an AU," the girl informed him, scrolling through fanfiction.

"Ooh, an AU. Those can be interesting. What kind?"

"A Reverse!KevEdd fic!" the girl exclaimed, laughing maniacally.

"Oh, goodie," the author said, his smile disappearing as his eyes narrowed.

###

A/N: Wow, I actually got a negative review. I'm surprised it took them this long. Oh, and I deleted the second of her three reviews, since it was the same as the third but with worse spelling. It's kind of funny what kind of arguments she makes.

As it is, who's to say I'm not letting people write all those things such as terrible smut. If I wasn't, I'd hack into the site, give myself admin privileges and delete all the fics I don't like. Plus, just because it's so common and everyone on the site does it doesn't mean I don't have to like it. And another thing: just because I'm not forced to read any of these doesn't mean I'm not forced to sift through a dozen fics just to get to one that's not the pairing, especially since nobody knows how to use the tags to mark couples properly so I can just filter them out. Yes, I know it's fiction.

Plus, I do write my own fanfic. I have several I'm working on right now. That's too many, actually. Not to mention, writer's block gets in the way too much.

Should I mention that I know this won't reduce KevEdd. Then again, it does look like there's a bit less out there. Still, if this makes one person decide to either not write the pairing or avoid the cliches I've listed, I'll consider my mission a success.

And the fact that she likes Rev!Edd lowers my respect for her even more, considering what he does on the first page of that comic. *shudders* I hate it when I have to research things I don't like.

Still, I try to respect everyone I can, even if I don't agree with them.

Oh, and for her second review: people who haven't seen the entire show can always look episodes up on YouTube, even if they have to deal with both annoying borders and questionable legality.

Thank you, everyone, for your reviews.


	5. AU! Assault

Chapter 5: AU!Assault

###

 _Kevin was rummaging through his locker, hoping that he wouldn't be seen… by him._

 _Over the past several weeks, ever since school started, he has been getting harassed by Edd. He needed to tell an adult, but he just… couldn't. He was afraid of the bully who was stalking him._

 _The redhead looked past the door to his locker and saw that terrible trio coming his way: Edd, Jimmy and Johnny, the last of the group carrying Plank in his hands. He tried not to make eye contact, tried to look away, shut his locker and walk off, but they were faster than him. He didn't know what he did to deserve this mistreatment from Edd, but there he was, cornering him._

 _"Hey, Kevin," the brainy jock said, grinning as he spoke._

 _"Uh, hey, what's up?" Kevin greeted, wanting to get out of there unscathed._

 _"Well, I need you to show up at the basketball game later, you got it?" Edd replied, his breath permeating Kevin's nostrils._

 _"Uh… uh, okay," he replied._

 _"You better be there!" Edd exclaimed, groping Kevin._

"Okay, okay, stop there!" the Author exclaimed.

"Come on! It just started!" the fangirl told him.

"Yeah, and I'm stopping there. Much like with the original AU!Reverse, I just can't continue on," he told her, grimacing at what he just read.

"Yeah, give me a good reason why," the girl ordered, convinced that she wasn't going to get any.

The author's expression upon getting that command was that of simple, calm anger. "You want a good reason why, huh? Try several, namely how you're trying to set up a relationship that starts with sexual _assault_. _That_ is never okay and Reverse Double D should go to jail for this." He took a deep breath and looked straight at the girl. "Imagine if some guy at school started treating you like this, including the groping. Would you put up with it or would you report it and get him in trouble."

The girl just sat there with a blank expression on her face. "Well, I guess it depends on how cute he is."

The author's hand went straight for his face as he shook his head. "I would certainly hope not! Heck, if some girl… or guy started sexually harassing me like Double D in this comic, I would report him to the next authority figure I came across. And if that didn't work, I'd tell my parents, the police, my other bosses, what have ya. I would get this dirtbag completely out of my life and in a prison cell where he belongs. Heck, there's a little thing called a restraining order that Kevin should get."

"Even if he was cute?" the girl asked.

"Well, no," the author responded, more than a little annoyed. "Anyway, no matter what the other guy or girl looks like, you should get as far away from him as you can and report him as soon as you can. Groping and other forms of sexual assault or harrassment are as far from acceptable as can be. Plus, that should be obvious anyway. Rape, is even less acceptable and should be a sign that the rapist will either be dead or in prison by the end of the fic. Actually, both should result in prison sentences."

"Hey, come on! It's just a fantasy!" the girl exclaimed.

"And if you were writing about a girl getting sexually assaulted by a guy, it wouldn't be any less acceptable?" the author asked, utterly angry at such an excuse. "Trust me, everything we read affects us in some way. That is why things such as propaganda or the news are so powerful and effective at promoting causes. Plus, one big boon to just about any civil rights movement from the NAACP to whatever gay rights groups are out there is having a sympathetic black or gay character on TV. It makes people sympathetic to their cause. Not to mention, there are people who have trouble distinguishing fantasy from reality in the first place. If any one of them saw their audience surrogate decide to get into a relationship with their abuser and felt that they should do the same, then that's partially on you for instigating that. And besides, if a movie started out with abuse between the official couple and ended up with them getting together, at the same time portraying it as a normal healthy relationship, it would get pretty scathing reviews. Kind of like _Fifty Shades of Gray,_ I guess."

"Oh come on! If you just kept on reading, then you'd find that Kevin was going to redeem Double D with his love!" the girl exclaimed.

"As if that happens in real life," he countered. "Trust me, if you were to get into a relationship with a guy who was abusive to you, you wouldn't be able to change him. Abusers have to learn how to change themselves before they can be trusted in a relationship, and even then there's always a possibility that they could relapse or change back. Plus, a relationship that starts with someone abusive toward the other isn't love, it's Stockholm Syndrome."

"Hey, Double D has problems! You should cut him some slack," the girl exclaimed. "Plus, his parents are totally dead."

The author rolled his eyes. "Wow, that's not an overused excuse at all! My dad's parents are dead but you don't see him treating my mom like crap. Heck, my mom's first marriage was an abusive relationship that she made sure she got out of, even moving to a different state when her ex-husband decided to move to the town she was in. Plus, we all have problems. That doesn't excuse harassment or abuse ever. Not to mention, the characters are completely out of character."

The girl rolled her eyes again. "Oh, come on, it's an alternate universe. Besides, not every Reverse KevEdd fic is like this."

The author took a deep breath, heaving a sigh of relief. "Maybe, but a good AU isn't the kind of story that could be put on FictionPress or independently published on Amazon with only the names changed. A good AU keeps the characters' relationships or only alters them slightly. A bad AU changes everything about the characters so that they're completely unrecognizable. In this instance, Edd's a jock and bully and Kevin's a nerd, something that changes their characters completely. Plus, remember what I said about forcing characters into certain roles based on stereotypes just to make them fit those roles? This is another example of that."

The girl rolled her eyes. "You really don't like the Seme-Uke dynamic, do you?" she asked.

"Not particularly," the author remarked with a smirk.

"So, any other comments on what makes a good AU?" the girl asked.

"Maybe keeping the character interactions but setting it in Victorian London or in space. Maybe swapping everyone's gender. That would definitely change how some things are handled, particularly the main characters' relationships with the Kankers. Plus, that one actually exists. Not to mention, you could show what would happen if a specific event didn't happen or happened differently which is what happened in the backstory of another AU. The fic in question is one of the best I've ever read was and it was called _Forfeit._ It showed what would have happened several years down the line if the Big Picture Show never happened and, in my opinion, deserves far more praise and cred than _AU! Reverse_ ever did."

"Was it really that good?" the girl asked.

"Yeah, it was excellent. In fact, it was one of the things that caused me to try and write Ed, Edd n Eddy fanfic again," the author stated. "I do have to warn you that it is hecka dark, though."

"Any pairings?" the girl asked.

"There is one late in the story but that's kind of a spoiler. Still, that fic shows the realistic outcome of abuse by showing the deteriorating relationship between the Eds and Kankers, and how it doesn't lead to twue wuv." The author smiled. "Trust me, you should read it."

"Okay, I will, but it's going to be kind of hard for me to get through it if there isn't any KevEdd in it," the girl warned.

"You won't regret it," the author responded. "So, anything else?"

"Well, I have a fic where Edd and Kevin get together thanks to their matchmaker: Nat!"

The author's eyes widened. "Okay, let's get on with it, then."

###

A/N: Yeah, I just randomly decided to look up AU!Reverse after hearing how bad it was. It was worse. The crotch-grabbing was definitely the last straw. If another guy tried doing that to me, especially one I didn't like, I'd yell at him. Heck, I'd probably punch him in self-defense even though I'm really not a violent guy. Actually, looking at that horrible thing again, it's even worse. I'm not going to go into how some consider Rev!Edd a Marty Stu with a cool car that a teenager shouldn't have, that treatment's reserved for someone else. Still, there's no way Edd's treatment of Kevin in that story should even be considered romantic. Gah!

And looking at the tumblr page… I can't believe he/she said it wasn't abuse! It so is! Heck, that qualifies as sexual assault! Well, according to Wikipedia, at least.

Oh, and some anonymous reviewer apparently confused me with BarthVader or something… Yeah, in case you noticed, I'm not Polish (I don't even have Polish ancestry), and I swear a lot less. Like a _lot._ And I try to be nicer. Plus, I've been around a lot longer and most of my fics aren't even Ed, Edd n Eddy fics. So there's that. The review was deleted since it was only three words long, one of them serious profanity, but, yeah, don't flame. I burn easy.


	6. Right in the Nat

Chapter 6: Right in the Nat

###

 _Kevin is looking across the classroom when his friend Nat comes in and sits down next to him. "Hey, Kevin, what's up?"_

 _"Oh, nothing much, dude," Kevin replied._

 _"Oh, there's something going on," Nat said. "I mean, you were, like, looking across the room. The only person over there is Double D and his two weird friends."_

 _"Dude, like I said, nothing," the redhead snapped._

 _"Oh, that's totally not nothing!" the greenette exclaimed._

"Greenette? Is that even a word," the author asked.

 _"You like Double D, don't you?" Nat asked._

 _"Uh, not really," Kevin answered, slightly annoyed._

 _Just then, a boy with long, brown hair walked in. "Oh hey, Rave!"_

 _"Oh my god, Mr. Cobb almost didn't accept me for the lead part in the school play!" Rave complained._

 _"Oh, don't worry, Rave! You'll get the part of Juliette!" Nat exclaimed._

 _"Oh, thanks Nat!" Rave replied._

The author sat there with his mouth wide open.

 _"So, I think Kevin's got a crush on Double D!" Nat exclaimed._

 _"Oh my gosh! Are you for real?" Rave asked._

 _"Dude, I'm right here," Kevin said, deadpan._

 _The next night, Kevin made his way to a restaurant. He hoped that whoever sent him this stupid invite was worth the time. And that they were a cute girl… or at least Edd._

 _Then he made his way inside and found Edd sitting at a table along with Nat, who waved at him._

 _"So, this is the dork you decided to put me on a date with, huh?" Kevin asked, acting slightly annoyed, hiding the fact that he was secretly hoping for this._

 _"Like, oh my god, this is Double D," Nat told him._

 _"Hello, Kevin, I'm quite elated to see that you're my date tonight," Edd told the redhead._

 _"You know, I was secretly hoping that you'd be my date tonight too," Kevin said too._

 _Then Rave showed up. "Oh my gosh! It's a double date!"_

###

The author sat there twitching after reading the latest abomination from the fangirl. "Okay…"

"Oh, come on! Isn't Nat Goldberg like the greatest OC ever!" the girl asked. "Come on, you've got to admit it!"

"I'm pretty sure most of my OCs are better, the one exception being the Marty Stu I had in my very first fanfic on this site that has long since been deleted," the author commented. "Then again, at least Nat's not as perverted as he usually is."

"Oh, come on, he's pansexual. He can't help it!" the girl said with a smile.

"Uh, dude, I'm pretty sure most people who identify as gay, bi or pan can keep in their pants," the author replied. "Heck, I'm pretty sure most of them are offended by that stereotype."

"Come on, why are you criticising Nat? You used him in one of your fics, for crying out loud," the girl remarked.

"Yeah, and the fic in question, _Spring Break,_ is intended to be a deconstruction of the character showing what would happen if he was in a world where Kevin and Edd were either straight or not remotely interested in each other," the author explained. "Plus, if I would have completed it, he would have burned all his bridges due to trying to hook all the guys up with each other and the epilogue would have ended up with him having a number of STDs thanks to his extreme promiscuity."

The girl's eyes widened. "Wow, you really don't like that OC, do you?"

"No, he's a perverted Marty Stu," the author remarked before laughing. "Oh man, that's just ridiculous."

"Wait, how's he a Marty Stu?" the girl asked, confused.

"Well, let's look at his character sheet, shall we?" The author said, pulling the sheet up on Deviantart. "Let's see: Nathan **Kedd** Goldberg? What's with the middle name?"

"Umm…" the girl said. "You know, I never heard that name before either."

"Yeah, looking it up on Google, I found out that it's apparently Hungarian for Tuesday, apparently," the author remarked. "And, just below it, you'll see the link to the Deviantart page for this character. Go figure. A strange, unusual name is generally the sign of a Mary Sue or Marty Stu. Ever hear of Ebony?"

"Oh come on! That doesn't mean he's a Marty Stu!"

The author looked around. "Maybe not, but let's see what comes next: King of Butts? Pansexual?"

"Hey, they exist!" the girl exclaimed.

"The King of Butts part or the Pansexual part?" the author asked with a chuckle. "Okay, pansexuals exist, but they're really rare and some feel that it's basically a type of bisexuality. So, how'd Nat decide he was pan instead of bi, anyway?"

"Uh, I don't know," the fangirl said with a shrug.

"Yeah, looking back I've only ever met one transgendered person in my life, so they're not all that common, or at least not as common as cismen and ciswomen. I can see someone coming across a man they're attracted to and then come across a woman they're also attracted to and deciding they're bisexual, but the likelihood of coming across a transgendered person is pretty darn low."

"How could you have only met one transgendered person in your entire life?" the fangirl asked, surprised. "Wow, you must not get out a lot!"

"Eh, I've met hundreds of people in my life, some of whom are quite interesting. For instance, there was that guy I know whose father was a Russian Jew and his mother was Lebanese. His wife was born in Italy and raised in Canada. Then there was that Spanish-speaking Chinese-American guy whose wife's from Ecuador. I've met quite a few people in my life of varying backgrounds and I've probably seen a few transexuals or transgendered out there, but you can't always tell from a distance."

"So, who was this transgendered person you met?" the fangirl asked.

"Well, he trained me at work. He was a pretty nice guy, I guess. I think he quit there a year or two after I started working. Trained me in the Shoe Department." The author shuddered at the memory of being stuck in that department. "Trust me, you don't want to work in that department. If your boss puts you in that department, run. If your boss tells you after five years of working in that department that you need to master it in order to start working in Home, run out of there as quickly as possible and turn in your letter of resignation immediately. It's not worth the torture!"

"Shoes! I love shoes! It can't be that bad," the girl said cheerfully.

The author was curled up in a fetal position in the corner. "Run! Don't put me back there, Rachel! I've already mastered it! Andy is a good boy!"

"Well, you're out of there, now, at least, right?" the girl asked and the author was magically sitting next to her again.

"Anyway, onto the pansexual part, thinking of the point where Nat realized he was into people of all genders and gender identities is a large part of putting together that character. To be honest, I've never seen any fic where they touched on that. At least none that I know of."

"So, what now?" the girl asked.

"Let's see… Number #1 (sic) Booty-Grabber? So, he's promiscuous?"

"So, what of it?"

"That's not necessarily the healthiest of lifestyles. I certainly hope he's using protection," the author remarked. "Not that I'm trying to say people can't do that. It's up to them to decide, but they should probably think of the risks in such a venture, especially between the STDs and unwanted pregnancies, and the STDs with unwanted pregnancies. Not a good combination."

"Hey, I'm sure he's using protection," the girl remarked. "Maybe…"

"Of course, there's the question of what would happen if he's in the heat of the moment and he realized he forgot a condom. I certainly hope he'd have the self-control to stop. Plus, remember what I said earlier about the stereotype of everyone gay, bi or pan being promiscuous nutjobs who can't keep in their pants being offensive to said orientations?"

"You got a point there," the girl remarked.

"And remember what I said about him being a Marty Stu? That's strike two for Marty Stu traits, his extreme promiscuity without consequences."

"Anything else?"

"'Life of the party, football jock, cares deeply about his hair'… I'd hate to see what he thinks of helmet hair in that situation."

"Those aren't Marty Stu traits!" the girl complained.

"Oh, but the next part is!" the author exclaimed with a grin, laughing maniacally as he read the next area. "'Rich boy from the bay. Parents found their fortune from the sea. Nat buys a normal house in Peach Creek (reason is unknown).' The blatant wish fulfillment and vague backstory are pretty ridiculous to the point of breaking the suspension of disbelief right from below us."

"What's wrong with wish fulfillment?" the girl asked.

"Okay, I'll admit, there's nothing inherently wrong with wish fulfillment. All fanfic is wish-fulfillment to a certain extent. I mean, who doesn't want another season of _Firefly?_ " the author replied. "Heck, even this fanfic has some wish-fulfillment in it, though it's mostly realistic enough not to break suspension of disbelief."

"Yeah, as if tearing apart bad KevEdd slash was realistic," the girl remarked.

"No, there are other things. Look closely around you," the author told her. All the sudden, the room she was in changed. There were numerous boxes behind the chair she was in, which was different as well. There was also a queen-sized bed and the door was in a different place. That wasn't mention the boxes underneath a window or the bookshelf right next to the door. Plus, the computer the two of them were on was a cheap HP Pavilion laptop instead of a custom-built gaming rig.

"What the…?" the girl started to say.

"See what I mean? I don't live in a city. Instead I live in a crappy town called Grand Junction with my parents. I'm also unemployed after quitting my job of eight years at a department store just before Black Friday instead of having an awesome job that pays my bills. I'm slowing running out of money too. Oh, and the roommate doesn't exist."

The girl was really confused. "How come you couldn't conjure up a cuter roommate?"

"Hey, you should meet my friend Tim sometime. He's got a wife that's way hotter than he is, well, depending on the eye of the beholder, of course."

"Wait, he's fat?" the girl asked, grossed out.

"I think he prefers the term fluffy, but maybe. Actually, he did refer to himself as a really healthy fat guy once." The author laughed. "Anyway, back on track: 'Pretends to be middle class to keep moochers out of the way…' How old is this guy, anyway? 'Not ashamed that he's rich but people are annoying. Has 4 butt-lers (sic iterum)...' Yep, definitely obsessed with butts. Anyway: 'Super Ninja Oldy Buttlers (sic por la tercera vez).' Okay… 'Interests: Job Hunting?' Yada yada… Oh, here's his one weakness: 'Has arachnophobia...'"

"Hey, it's a legitimate fear!" the girl countered.

"Maybe so, but if that's his only weakness according to his creator, that's a serious sign of a Marty Stu. For crying out loud, I hardly ever see any spiders, especially during the wintertime. The number of instances where that one weakness will show up are slim to none! It's practically an informed attribute."

"A what?" the girl asked.

"A trait someone has, supposedly, but that never comes up. Man, this guy's just as bad as that Edna chick whose only weakness was a fear of clowns. Funny that she got a ton of slack for that but Nat's let off scot free. Kind of shows the the public acceptance of Marty Stus over Mary Sues."

"Yeah? I guess so."

"You know, I think the only reason Marty Stus are more accepted is because they show up a lot less," the author deduced. "Heck, I remember hearing people complain that Rey from the new Star Wars movie was a Mary Sue. Unfortunately, there was a bigger Marty Stu in one of the other movies."

"Yeah? Who do you think that was?" the girl asked.

"Anakin Skywalker from Star Wars Episode I. Okay, here's this ten-year-old who's kind of annoying. Unfortunately, despite being a slave he's a complete mechanical genius who builds a protocol droid from spare parts and It turns out he's the chosen one who's more powerful than Yoda and by the end of the movie he ends up blowing the current Death Star knockoff of the movie himself. Gah! That makes me like the essay rewriting the movie so much better for having him on Coruscant during that whole ordeal. It made a heck of a lot more sense as well."

"Okay, you've got a point there," the fangirl admitted. "Anything else?"

"Well, the little segment ends with Nat worshiping a butt…" The author shuddered several times from that. "Excuse me as a bleach that little image out of my brain."

"Wow, okay, you've got a point that he's a massive Marty Stu. So, how should I create a character?"

"Well, first off: background. Avoid blatant wish fulfillment. Make sure he has his own goals, hopes, fears, worries, likes and dislikes and make sure he has more than a couple of weakness, just don't go overboard. A good OC is all abount balancing out all of these characteristics into a cohesive whole, a character that helps the story along, develops the other characters or adds to the plot. Heck, he could even drive the plot if he's a villain. In other words: make a person, not a character."

The girl nodded. "Too bad Nat belongs to Acid."

"And another thing, don't let your characters crowd out other characters, especially the canon ones. Heck, where are Nazz and Rolf at?"

"Oh, you want to know where Nazz is at, huh?" the girl asked, grinning widely. "Since you don't like yaoi, you might like this!"

The author was very afraid. "Okay, I guess I'll have to see." Somehow he knew exactly what was coming: a pairing that was even crackier and had even less basis in canon than KevEdd.

###

A/N: Yeah, I worked at Kohl's for eight years. Yes, I still live with my parents. I'm working at escaping! I've only been looking for a job since I graduated from college, that's all. There just aren't any jobs for entry-level web developers in this town of 50,000.

Yeah, as you can tell, I don't like Nat. I also apologize for all the times I've failed to take my own advice. Oh, and sorry for my shameless plug of another fic of mine.

Another addendum: There are some promiscuous characters that are done right. For instance, Captain Kirk and Jack Harkness. However, there's a lot more to them than their promiscuity (although Harkness still falls into the unfortunate implications of an incredibly promiscuous bi person). Kirk has an awesome ship, a cool best friend who acts as a counter and he's not spending every minute of every day drooling over women. Then there's Jack Harkness who's just awesome sometimes, though he still has his flaws and his promiscuity did affect him negatively on occasion. Nat doesn't seem to have much to his character other than his promiscuity.


End file.
